I admit I am reckless. Removing their warm comfort, slipping them next to my thighs, so that I can read a newspaper, text on my cell or flash my transit pass. Then jumping off at my stop, leaving them riding the rails solo.
I have stuffed them haphazardly into a pocket while making a purchase, one inevitably slipping out , left soggy and stampeded on the checkout floor.
At 10,000 feet, I’ve place them down in the snow in order to utilize my digits for finite work, only to turn to see them blowing off the mountain peak, little toasty kites waving goodbye to me.
Face it. I have abandoned them willy nilly everywhere.
I am a committed mitten loser. I show no special treatment… hand-knit, woolen, leather, gloves, mitts, expensive, cheap dollar store, I lose them all equally. This year I am looking to set my all-time winter record with already a staggering total of seven pairs lost this month alone. My fingers are suffering from freezer burn. Not a pretty sight.
I tried starting a fashion trend of donning mismatched mittens. But I just looked like an idiot. With regret, I recently tossed out my mountainous pile of single gloves desperately seeking matching singles.
Then I remembered! Why had I not thought of this before?
This year I’m going to kick it old school. Digging into the depths of my mother’s closet, I hauled out bags of yarn and set to colour match. I cut strings to the measure of my wingspan, then I sewed, tied, and yes, even glue gunned the yarn… safety lines. Mitten life preservers. Yes I did it. I tied strings on all my mitts and safety-pinned them inside each of my coats.
Brilliant. I don’t know why I thought in high school that stringed mitts were geeky.. It’s convenient. Never will I have to search again atop the hall closet for that specific pair that matches that particular coat. They are now perma-outfitted together.
I can flick off my mitts with confidence as they now safely dangle by my side, stay attached in coat checks, on subways, in stores… forever strung. This pair will stick together through any weather.
The mitten string. Bestest winter invention ever. Thanks mom!
